The following are a series of responses to the article about Adoption.

Greensboro News & Record, December 12, 2000

In light of some of the negative responses to your "Partners in Parenthood" piece (Nov. 26), about a gay couple adopting twins, I wanted to stop and commend you for tackling this touchy issue with such a thorough feature story. I’m amazed at how easily people are offended by anything that wanders outside their narrow minds.

And since when is a story the same as an endorsement? With all these murders and burglaries your staff reports on regularly, should I assume you’re all pro-crime over there, too?

I don’t know either of the parents featured in your story, but it’s fair to say that if something ever happened to my wife and me, I’d trust my daughter’s life to their loving environment over the closed, dark and mean-spirited world projected by your ticked-off readers.

At least one angry reader canceled his (or her) subscription. Another threatened to do the same if he (or she) saw "one more article like this."

You should go ahead and cancel their papers now; they don’t get it anyway.

I am writing in response to the readers who have threatened to cancel their subscriptions over your publishing the Nov. 26 article "Partners in Parenthood."

While I completely disagree with the letter writers’ viewpoint, I respect their right to have their own opinion. It seems to me, however, that they are intolerant of the freedom of speech if it does not support their viewpoint.

This country was founded upon principles of freedom. Our very strength is derived from the fact that different viewpoints can be expressed.

If we become so intolerant of opposing viewpoints that we can’t bear to see them expressed, we are turning our backs on what makes our country so great.

I have known Bob Page and Dale Frederiksen for more than 15 years and I am proud to call them my friends. My life is better because of that relationship, and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the lives of the adopted twins, Ryan and Owen, will be forever better as well.

It took great courage for them to adopt and for your paper to write the article. I am proud to see letters of support and dismayed by angry, hateful letters in response.

However, it would never enter my mind that your paper should not print their opinions just because I believed differently.

Your front-page article depicting two homosexual men living together and adopting babies shows a trend that is very, very wrong in our society.

Is this an example of tolerance that society owes these men? "Tolerance has its limits," writes Peter Berglar in his book "Opus Dei," "when justice, decency, virtue, the family, and society hang in the balance, when what is at stake is nothing less than the salvation of souls. Those who think passively and regurgitate shallow theories, instead of personally seeking truth and justice, easily become pawns in the game of history."

Are these men trying to show a semblance of responsibility as the price of their fun? If that’s the case, they are truly turning these babies into pawns in their game or, at best, society’s guinea pigs.

Or is society trying to grant them their inalienable right to bring up children? What about the rights of those children? Every child has a God-given right to a father and a mother. And who asked these children’s opinion?

Are the rights of men or women living together for fun superior to the rights of the children who cannot speak for themselves?

True immorality rooted in prejudice, intolerance (December 11, 2000)

Regarding the article, "Gay couple learns joys, social challenges, costs of parenthood" (Nov. 26). I applaud the News & Record for featuring this story.

Many letters sent to the editor in response to this article show the hatred and ignorance people have toward gay people. Ignorance and hatred are the only reason someone would equate being gay with death, disease and low morals.

I suspect that the people who wrote the homophobic letters have probably never even met a gay person. Their beliefs are based on fear, and their fear and hatred are the most threatening disease on society.

Bob Page and Dale Frederiksen are doing a wonderful and commendable deed, raising children in a loving, stable, supportive home. They obviously love their children and have the same human rights as any couple to love and care for a child.

The ignorance of the people who wrote to the newspaper reminds me of the same ignorant rhetoric that people had concerning women and blacks voting, slavery and segregation, and interracial relationships.

I hope that one day people will accept that love is love, and the real moral corruptness lies in the mouth of those who speak against love.

Letter: Gay adoption article showed editorial courage (December 10, 2000)

I had no inclination to address the Nov. 26 article ("Partners in Parenthood") until this week’s letter to the editor, "Gay adoption upsetting." I was surprised you placed a poignant piece, addressing difficult and complex aspects of gay adoption, on the front page. It’s something I would have expected from a major international metropolitan newspaper. Atypical of local council, school board front-page fluff.

I am conservative, but the article caused me to think about why I believe the way I do about such a subject.

Thank you, for a thought-provoking article. Did it reflect your paper’s position? I don’t care: It offered an introspection on a subject I had never considered. I can only imagine your editor going over the final copy, minimizing any perceived bias, anticipating Monday’s responses. As for the children who read the article, it was far more educational to their development of understanding difficult issues facing our society than some of the courtroom tripe about sex in the White House.

I’m inclined to believe gay parents love their children like any parent. I’m inclined to believe gay parents have to work harder raising their children to understand the aspects of their gay relationship and the statistically normal male-female relationships prevalent in society. I’m inclined to believe loving parents, gay or otherwise, would not manipulate the sexual orientation of their child.

The article provided awareness of difficult issues facing the 21^st century. Newspapers have an obligation to properly address such issues, whether we want to hear them or not.

Gay couple will provide all adopted twins need (December 9, 2000)

I read David L. Allen’s letter (Nov. 29) with sadness and regret. It is disappointing that Allen chose to read the article, "Partners in Parenthood" (Nov. 26), as an example of "liberal bias in the press" or of the promotion of a "lifestyle."

A less complicated reading of the article leads to the conclusion that the larger experiences surrounding child rearing are universal and that the love of a child trumps all other consideration of varying importance. I have no cause to doubt that, as another adoptive parent, Allen is deeply committed to the lives of his children. I imagine he could say as well as anyone that "love makes a family," not DNA or social convention.

Unfortunately, it seems that Allen’s own biases have closed his mind and clouded his vision. Could it be any more clear that Bob Page and Dale Frederiksen are loving and caring parents who will provide every sort of support for these twins in ways that neither their mother nor their government could?

I want to thank the News & Record for printing the heartwarming story (Nov. 26) about Bob Page and Dale Frederiksen and their adopted twins, Owen and Ryan.

It’s good to be reminded that love makes a family and that families come in all configurations.

Why can’t two men, who are in a stable, long-term, loving relationship, provide a warm and secure environment for raising children? I am a parent myself and have done volunteer work with at-risk youth, and I understand the truth in the African proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child."

I believe that our goal as a society should be to raise healthy, well-loved and well-adjusted children and that we all need to support families who are striving to do just that.

Letter: Real threat isn’t gays; it’s small-mindedness (December 7, 2000)

Regarding Ray Baker’s Dec. 1 rant against the article on gay adoptive parents, "Partners in Parenthood" (A1, Nov. 26):

Who is he to tell others that the way they live their lives is wrong and that they have no morals? Just because he and I may not be homosexual doesn’t mean that we are any more "moral" or better than any gay person. He may not understand their life and it may not be the thing for him, but respect it. These are good people doing a good thing for two children who need it.

As for his statement claiming that, by allowing homosexuals to adopt children, we have sentenced the kids to a lifetime of confusion, disease and perhaps death, it is because of people like Baker that our kids are growing up to be selfish, close-minded and disrespectful. This world is made up of all kinds of people, and not one of us is just alike. Baker obviously is ignorant if he thinks gays are disease-spreading killers.

The next time he decides to voice his "opinion," he should make sure he is speaking about something that he knows about. And if he doesn’t, he needs to do a little research (just an idea).

Any people out there (gay or straight) who have the love in their hearts to adopt makes this world a better place to live in. You set the examples that need to be set. 

– Terri Cummings, Kernersville

I want to commend the News & Record on the wonderful front-page story Nov. 26 about a gay couple and their adopted children. It was a heartwarming story that allowed readers to see that loving, nontraditional families exist and thrive in our community.

I applaud writer Tom Steadman and photographer Lynn Hey ("Partners in Parenthood," Nov. 26) for capturing the normality of a committed and caring couple who are model parents and just happen to be gay. The article reminds me that the important issue here is that parentless children need a home with loving parents. Being a heterosexual couple doesn’t automatically equate to being good parents.

On a checklist for desirable parents, Bob Page and Dale Frederiksen score so highly. Partners for more than a decade, they donate much time and money to enhance the Greensboro community, and they are leading business professionals with one of the largest and fastest-growing companies in the Triad. I admire them, and they are certainly role models for me.

I am so saddened to read letters from readers that blast the "gay lifestyle." I can speak for myself that being gay is not a choice. My parents are heterosexual, but I was born gay. Similarly, gay parents cannot "make" their children gay. So for me, being gay is not a lifestyle, it is life.

As any parent can testify, raising children is not a picnic in the park. Parenting is a 24/7 job for the rest of your life. It’s sad to see the struggles that Page and Frederiksen have endured to give a home to two boys. They have sacrificed so much, and they will do so for many years to come as they raise their sons. I commend them.

Thank you for your recent articles on same-sex couples and adoption (Nov. 26). I’m sure that coverage will generate many letters to the editor, both pro and con. I fall into the pro category on this one.

If a child in need of a family can be provided a safe, secure, loving home environment, what difference does it make if the prospective parents are of the same or opposite genders? Heterosexual orientation alone shouldn’t be the basis for determining the potential for being a good parent.

Gay and lesbian parents are just as capable of providing a quality home environment to a child as are their heterosexual counterparts. Some people argue that exposing a child to the "gay lifestyle" is unhealthy. Well, more than a few heterosexual families are dealing with domestic violence, child abuse, infidelity and divorce. Are those issues simply erased because the family consists of two parents of opposite genders?

A healthy relationship or family life is based on the principles of love, trust, understanding and commitment. Sexual orientation (heterosexual or homosexual) shouldn’t even be a factor in determining an individual’s or couple’s ability to be good parents.

Pray for the staff of News & Record (December 5, 2000)

Sodomy rules ... well, at least with the News & Record. If not, why would the sin of homosexuality be given the front page of the Nov. 26 paper? Why would the deviant way of life, which the Bible proclaims is an abomination, be given approval as an alternate lifestyle? Once homosexuality is allowed, can anyone give a valid objection to not approving (legally) of intercourse with animals or with the dead? Think about it. Our society is hell-bent to outdo Sodom and Gomorrah.

Christians must pray for this newspaper’s staff and for people who are deceived by this sin that God’s commandments must be obeyed. It would be very inconsiderate and unloving to avoid informing people of God’s judgment of this sin. Also important is to tell a repentant sinner of the absolute forgiveness and power to obey, found in Jesus Christ.

God is not mocked. You reap what you sow.

I am writing this in response to Ray Baker’s letter (Dec. 1) about the News & Record’s decision to report on gay adoptions. Baker asked if the paper had lost its mind. I ask, has he lost his?

I would first like to comment that your article (Nov. 26) was heartwarming and informative. Whether or not you support a "gay lifestyle," you would be blind not to realize that those twins are much better off with loving parents here than they would be where they were. I know; I have a friend who came here from Vietnam—with both parents—and she said the conditions there were horrible. Not only that, but to those of you who only favor adoption by "straight" parents, well guess what: I know terrible parents who are straight and feel very sad for the children who they are raising.

Maybe it would be more Christian to look at the love that people have to offer, not their sexual orientation. Although I am sure that someone out there will "correct" me, I have had several gay friends, and no one choses that lifestyle, believe me. I watch the heartache and frustration that my gay friends face and know that no "straight" person would chose that if they could.

Grow up, Mr. Baker. Let’s stop the adolescent name-calling and moral stone-flinging. The most important thing for these boys is that they are loved. Period. I hope that you, Mr. Baker, are loved, too.

Greensboro News & Record, December 4, 2000 

November 29, 2000

I’m Janet Parshall for Washington Watch. 

(Family Research Council Website)

It may not be June, but it’s Father’s Day for two men in North Carolina. Bob Page and Dale Frederiksen have adopted twins—together. Forget little orphan Annie’s dream of a new mom and dad. These Vietnamese babies will have to learn a whole lot more about American culture than they bargained for. Bob and Dale said they wanted a family, but thought that no adoption agency would be open to gay parents. Like most states, North Carolina doesn’t allow adoptions by same-sex couples. But, along with 39 other states, it does allow for adoption by a gay single parent. How that can be healthier for any child, I don’t know. For couples like this one, though, there are still big loopholes. Bob adopted the twins as a single parent, then drew up a legal document giving Dale custody in the event of his death. He plans on having the boys call him "daddy" and Dale "papa."

When it comes to gay couples, dysfunction is the name of the game. I think it’s time we left the kids out of it. Bob says he plans on passing down his wealth and his values. If that’s the case, these twins will have a big inheritance all right—like disease, an early death, and an empty family life. Well, for kids like these, the sun may never come out—tomorrow or any other day.

For Family Research Council, this is Janet Parshall with today’s Washington Watch. For information about us call 800-225-4008.

Response to article about adoption by Bob Page & Dale Frederiksen

November 29, 2000, Greensboro News & Record Letter To The Editor

 

News & Record wrong to publicize gay lifestyle

by:  David L. Allen, Liberty

As an adoptive parent, I was appalled but not surprised at your featured front-page story regarding the adoption of twins by a gay couple ("Partners in Parenthood," Nov. 26). It was once again an example of liberal bias in the press and an effort to publicize the gay lifestyle.

Although I certainly do not agree with the lifestyle depicted in the article, I do respect the right of people to live as they choose. But I do not have to be subjected to it continually in your publication. Therefore, please cancel my subscription to your publication.

I know first-hand the trials and complexities of rearing an adoptive child in today's world. It's sad that others value a cause or lifestyle more than they value the well-being of a child.