Finding the Real Me
True Tales of Sex and Gender Diversity
Tracie O’Keefe and Katrina Fox, Editors
Jossey-Bass Publishers, 2003

Reviewed by Dave Parker

An extraordinary collection of real-life stories told by a wide range of sex and gender diverse people. These healing tales of struggle and transformation reveal just how creative, resourceful, and adventurous the individuals in this community can be and also help to bridge the gap between ignorance and understanding.

This is an excellent compilation of 26 real-life transition stories from several countries. Individual stories range from adolescent to senior adult, MtF, FtM, and androgenous or metagender. The stories average about 8 to 10 pages.

The book reveals that many transgender people are aware very early in life that they are different. They don’t fit into the gender role assigned to them. Typically, parental and societal pressures keep them closeted into their mid-teens or later. Ferof rejection usually makes coming out traumatic. The biographies of the more mature trans peapel show how much later in life they began their transition, largely due to lack of parental or family support and potential rejection at work or school.

An important insight gained from reading this book is that gender identity is not simply or strictly male or female. Individuals exist throughout the gender spectrum. Sexual orientation of these authors is equally diverse.

Every story is different, but all are similar. These are brave, strong people who have shown the will and determination to overcome societal pressures in the effort to create outward persona to match their gender identity.

They are an inspiration to us all.